Ubuntu Christian Edition Facts

2007-08-25T13:53:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the mount command calls the sermon script. Ensuring you always get a sermon on the mount.
(tnx to Oliver)

2007-03-17T14:46:00.000+01:00

There is no abort() support in Ubuntu Christian Edition's glibc
(tnx to noah)

2007-03-17T14:44:00.000+01:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition is Three in One... Ubuntu, Kubuntu and Xubuntu Christian Edition
(tnx to mindflayer)

2006-11-19T14:29:00.000+01:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition GNOME’s logo is washed just before Easter.
(tnx to d0k)

2006-10-27T18:42:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition 7.04 will be called "Chaste Fawn"

2006-10-21T22:37:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the sin() function has been removed from libm.
(tnx to Dennis)

2006-10-21T17:09:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, all documents are saved by grace through faith.
(tnx to someone)

2006-10-03T20:15:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition you can burn heretic cds only.

2006-09-24T14:25:00.000+02:00

With Ubuntu Christian Edition, you don't need to surf the web. You can walk on it.

2006-09-19T23:13:00.000+02:00

For 40 days before Easter, Ubuntu Christian Edition works in text mode only.

2006-09-19T02:14:00.000+02:00

For your dekstop, Ubuntu Christian Edition has only one theme. Love.
(tnx to Ivano)

2006-09-15T18:15:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition Novell's e-mail program has been renamed "Creation".
(tnx to someone)

2006-09-14T16:49:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition uses Enlightenment for its windowmanager/desktop.
(tnx to revdjenk)

2006-09-14T13:54:00.000+02:00

Dual boot is not possible in Ubuntu Christian edition. "Thou shalt have no other operating systems before Me...".
(tnx to someone)

2006-09-14T13:53:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, there can be only root and 12 more users, one of which will help crackers to acces the system.
(tnx to Goyira)

2006-09-14T13:52:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition was made in only seven days.
(tnx to Snuden78)

2006-09-14T01:03:00.000+02:00

If you right click on Wanda the Fish logged as root in Ubuntu Christian Edition, you get in the popup menu the option "multiply".

2006-09-14T00:16:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition doesn't work very well with cross-platform software. (tnx to someone)

2006-09-14T00:12:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition doesn't allow to put a network interface into promiscous mode. (tnx to Cassini)

2006-09-13T19:12:00.000+02:00

In order to work properly, Ubuntu Christian Edition needs to be activated online with a procedure called Baptism. (tnx to Gianpy)

2006-09-13T18:59:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition to find the meaning of a function you'll have to digit BIBLE (name of the function) instead of man (name of the function). (tnx to Gianpy)

2006-09-13T17:56:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, a special BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death) has been reintroduced, which looks like a long shining tunnel (LSTSOD: long shining tunneled screen of death).(tnx to ethernode)

2006-09-13T15:26:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, multiplication problems can only be done using the FORTH programming language, as in "Go forth and multiply".(tnx to someone)

2006-09-13T15:23:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition has only 10 commands.
(tnx to someone)

2006-09-13T15:20:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition has the confess command that deletes your logs and caches (tnx to Scornn)

2006-09-13T14:43:00.000+02:00

Boy: "Hi, I'm a Mac"
Man: "And I'm a PC"
Boy: "I got everything out-of-the-box, blog, podcast, fun stuff.."
Man: "I have Ubuntu Christian Edition"
Boy: "Oh..Touché"

2006-09-13T14:34:00.000+02:00

Life cycle of a Linux User:

newbie -> Ubuntu
elite linux admin -> Debian
elite linux admin after months of config files editing -> Ubuntu Christian Edition

2006-09-13T14:27:00.000+02:00

To install wine in Ubuntu Christian Edition, you simply enter apt-get install water.
(tnx to John)

2006-09-13T14:02:00.000+02:00

The hand cursor in Ubuntu Christian Edition's browsers has stigmata.
(tnx to Ivano)

2006-09-13T14:01:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition you never get the system nailed down. It would be blaspheme.
(tnx to Ivano)

2006-09-12T13:49:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition kernel configuration is done through the "make godconfig" command, that generates a perfect .config file. It knows what your hardware needs and which modules you will need in the FUTURE.

2006-09-09T01:21:00.000+02:00

After some idle time, Ubuntu Christian Edition starts praying to save the screen. (tnx to Ivano)

2006-09-07T19:47:00.000+02:00

If you're talking about a skilled sysadmin that runs Ubuntu Christian Edition, the term B.O.F.H. stays for Blessed Operator From Heaven.

2006-09-07T19:41:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition has a special kernel module to handle plug and pray hardware - devices that, after connection, wait that you pray for them before working.

2006-09-07T02:43:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's wine can run Oblivion without any performance loss. After all, it can do miracles.

2006-09-07T02:37:00.000+02:00

The first program written in Ubuntu Christian Edition did not print "Hello World". It printed "Let there be light". And there was light. (tnx to Ivano)

2006-09-07T02:06:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition is the only operating system that can run on a trinitary system architecture. (tnx to Ivano and Concetta's Lover)

2006-09-06T15:16:00.000+02:00

When Ubuntu Christian Edition successfully detects ALL your hardware, it locates the nearest internet-enabled church and automatically lights a candle for you.

2006-09-06T14:24:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition had to remove the Apache web server from the distro. It stays with his shamanistic Manitou-related faith, solid as a rock.

2006-09-06T14:14:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the arp command is replaced by an improved version called harp. You know, angels like to play harp, adding holy sounds to your OS.

2006-09-04T16:28:00.000+02:00

If you uninstall Ubuntu Christian Edition, it will automatically re-install after three days. (tnx to Kirsey)

2006-09-04T14:31:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's Nautilus file browser has been replaced by Noah's ark file browser. It features an embedded backup function, limited to 40 days.

2006-09-04T14:15:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition Mr. Potatoe is already dressed. Nudity is obscene. (tnx to Ivano)

2006-09-03T15:19:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the default location for saved files is /heaven. (tnx to Rev. Dan, modified)

2006-09-03T14:53:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition a member of the priests user group can execute this command: ln -s /usr/bin/wine /usr/bin/blood_of_Christ

2006-09-03T14:22:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's Open Office logo is a white dove.

2006-09-03T14:09:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, EOF is replaced by AMEN. (tnx to Ivano)

2006-09-03T13:23:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition there are no zombie processes. No Voodoo in good christian systems.

2006-09-02T19:19:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's chmod doesn't allow 666 permission to be set. (tnx to Jonas)

2006-09-02T12:11:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition won't run on Apple computers. He said not to touch them. (tnx to Erlkoenig)

2006-09-01T22:16:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition process priority has no meaning: all processes are the same at the eye of God.

2006-09-01T17:54:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition has got a modified version of fsck that prints the message "this is a good moment for praying" if launched in automatic repair mode on a corrupted file system.

2006-08-31T13:39:00.000+02:00

Emacs psychologist in Ubuntu Christian Edition is now Emacs confessor.

2006-08-31T13:03:00.000+02:00

Viruses are not quarantined in Ubuntu Christian Edition... they are handled by a special confessor process who listens to their sins. (tnx to Lupin)

2006-08-31T12:54:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition hasn't got any configuration Wizard. No superstion in serious christian systems.

2006-08-31T12:50:00.000+02:00

An algorithm developed in Ubuntu Christian Edition does not need proofs.

2006-08-31T12:49:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's man pages are dogmatic.

2006-08-31T12:44:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, fortune only gives quotes from the Bible

2006-08-31T12:40:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition networking stack doesn't support multicast and server processes can serve a single client in their execution. Every kind of promiscuity is banned.

2006-08-31T12:21:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's media player automatically discovers hidden backward messages in rock music.

2006-08-31T12:13:00.000+02:00

In the next Ubuntu Christian Edition release, there will be a totally new way to create new processes... in fact, even married processes cannot make children with fork.. clonation is not allowed.

2006-08-31T12:02:00.000+02:00

If a process dies in Ubuntu Christian Edition, he reaches eternal life. Without error code, he goes to the Holy Data Structure of Heaven; with error code, he is damned to infamous Data Structure of Hell.

2006-08-31T00:01:00.000+02:00

If you are already using Ubuntu 6.06 Dapper Drake, there is a script to convert it to Ubuntu Christian Edition.
...
The sentence above is true, click here you unbeliever!

2006-08-30T23:30:00.000+02:00

There are no direct broadcast messages from root in Ubuntu Christian Edition: there are special Prophet users who deliver them.

2006-08-30T23:29:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition you cannot login as root: nobody can play God's role.

2006-08-30T23:18:00.000+02:00

If a webcam is available, Ubuntu Christian Edition uses his embedded sign-of-the-cross recognition instead of asking passwords.

2006-08-30T23:10:00.000+02:00

The standard Loading cursor of Ubuntu Christian Edition is a praying monk

2006-08-30T23:04:00.000+02:00

On Ubuntu Christian Edition, only married processes can fork children.

2006-08-30T22:54:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition networking refuses to work with FreeBSD (with its red, little, evil Beastie)

2006-08-30T22:49:00.000+02:00

If you install successfully S.A.T.A.N. (Security Auditing Tool for Analyzing Networks) on Ubuntu Christian Edition, you get a kernel panic as you reboot.

2006-08-30T22:46:00.000+02:00

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the init process has been replaced by the genesis process.

2006-08-30T22:43:00.001+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's installer program is very easy and detects all kind of hardware devices. This is to avoid users to goddamn anyone.

2006-08-30T22:43:00.000+02:00

On Ubuntu Christian Edition, the "kill" and "killall" commands only print the "RESPECT THE COMMANDMENTS!" string and log your attempt to syslog.

2006-08-30T22:38:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition processes can respawn only at Easter

2006-08-30T22:25:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition has an automatic alarm clock every Sunday at 6 AM.

2006-08-30T22:22:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition's default background is similar to WindowsXP landscape, but on the hill there are three crosses.

2006-08-30T22:14:00.000+02:00

Ubuntu Christian Edition does not have daemons.