Saturday, August 25, 2007

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the mount command calls the sermon script. Ensuring you always get a sermon on the mount.
(tnx to Oliver)

Saturday, March 17, 2007

There is no abort() support in Ubuntu Christian Edition's glibc
(tnx to noah)

Ubuntu Christian Edition is Three in One... Ubuntu, Kubuntu and Xubuntu Christian Edition
(tnx to mindflayer)

Sunday, November 19, 2006

In Ubuntu Christian Edition GNOME’s logo is washed just before Easter.
(tnx to d0k)

Saturday, October 21, 2006

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the sin() function has been removed from libm.
(tnx to Dennis)

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, all documents are saved by grace through faith.
(tnx to someone)

Tuesday, October 03, 2006

In Ubuntu Christian Edition you can burn heretic cds only.

Sunday, September 24, 2006

With Ubuntu Christian Edition, you don't need to surf the web. You can walk on it.

Tuesday, September 19, 2006

For 40 days before Easter, Ubuntu Christian Edition works in text mode only.

For your dekstop, Ubuntu Christian Edition has only one theme. Love.
(tnx to Ivano)

Friday, September 15, 2006

In Ubuntu Christian Edition Novell's e-mail program has been renamed "Creation".
(tnx to someone)

Thursday, September 14, 2006

Ubuntu Christian Edition uses Enlightenment for its windowmanager/desktop.
(tnx to revdjenk)

Dual boot is not possible in Ubuntu Christian edition. "Thou shalt have no other operating systems before Me...".
(tnx to someone)

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, there can be only root and 12 more users, one of which will help crackers to acces the system.
(tnx to Goyira)

Ubuntu Christian Edition was made in only seven days.
(tnx to Snuden78)

Wednesday, September 13, 2006

In order to work properly, Ubuntu Christian Edition needs to be activated online with a procedure called Baptism.
(tnx to Gianpy)

In Ubuntu Christian Edition to find the meaning of a function you'll have to digit BIBLE (name of the function) instead of man (name of the function).
(tnx to Gianpy)

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, a special BSOD (Blue Screen Of Death) has been reintroduced, which looks like a long shining tunnel (LSTSOD: long shining tunneled screen of death).
(tnx to ethernode)

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, multiplication problems can only be done using the FORTH programming language, as in "Go forth and multiply".
(tnx to someone)

Ubuntu Christian Edition has only 10 commands.
(tnx to someone)

Ubuntu Christian Edition has the confess command that deletes your logs and caches
(tnx to Scornn)

Boy: "Hi, I'm a Mac"
Man: "And I'm a PC"
Boy: "I got everything out-of-the-box, blog, podcast, fun stuff.."
Man: "I have Ubuntu Christian Edition"
Boy: "Oh..Touché"

Life cycle of a Linux User:
  • newbie -> Ubuntu
  • elite linux admin -> Debian
  • elite linux admin after months of config files editing -> Ubuntu Christian Edition

To install wine in Ubuntu Christian Edition, you simply enter apt-get install water.
(tnx to John)

The hand cursor in Ubuntu Christian Edition's browsers has stigmata.
(tnx to Ivano)

In Ubuntu Christian Edition you never get the system nailed down. It would be blaspheme.
(tnx to Ivano)

Saturday, September 09, 2006

After some idle time, Ubuntu Christian Edition starts praying to save the screen.
(tnx to Ivano)

Thursday, September 07, 2006

Ubuntu Christian Edition's wine can run Oblivion without any performance loss. After all, it can do miracles.

The first program written in Ubuntu Christian Edition did not print "Hello World". It printed "Let there be light". And there was light.
(tnx to Ivano)

Ubuntu Christian Edition is the only operating system that can run on a trinitary system architecture.
(tnx to Ivano and Concetta's Lover)

Monday, September 04, 2006

If you uninstall Ubuntu Christian Edition, it will automatically re-install after three days.
(tnx to Kirsey)

Ubuntu Christian Edition's Nautilus file browser has been replaced by Noah's ark file browser. It features an embedded backup function, limited to 40 days.

In Ubuntu Christian Edition Mr. Potatoe is already dressed. Nudity is obscene.
(tnx to Ivano)

Sunday, September 03, 2006

In Ubuntu Christian Edition the default location for saved files is /heaven.
(tnx to Rev. Dan, modified)

Ubuntu Christian Edition's Open Office logo is a white dove.

In Ubuntu Christian Edition, EOF is replaced by AMEN.
(tnx to Ivano)

Saturday, September 02, 2006

Ubuntu Christian Edition's chmod doesn't allow 666 permission to be set.
(tnx to Jonas)

Ubuntu Christian Edition won't run on Apple computers. He said not to touch them.
(tnx to Erlkoenig)

Friday, September 01, 2006

In Ubuntu Christian Edition process priority has no meaning: all processes are the same at the eye of God.

Thursday, August 31, 2006

Emacs psychologist in Ubuntu Christian Edition is now Emacs confessor.

Viruses are not quarantined in Ubuntu Christian Edition... they are handled by a special confessor process who listens to their sins.
(tnx to Lupin)

An algorithm developed in Ubuntu Christian Edition does not need proofs.

Ubuntu Christian Edition's man pages are dogmatic.

Ubuntu Christian Edition's media player automatically discovers hidden backward messages in rock music.

In the next Ubuntu Christian Edition release, there will be a totally new way to create new processes... in fact, even married processes cannot make children with fork.. clonation is not allowed.

If a process dies in Ubuntu Christian Edition, he reaches eternal life. Without error code, he goes to the Holy Data Structure of Heaven; with error code, he is damned to infamous Data Structure of Hell.

If you are already using Ubuntu 6.06 Dapper Drake, there is a script to convert it to Ubuntu Christian Edition.
The sentence above is true, click here you unbeliever!

Wednesday, August 30, 2006

There are no direct broadcast messages from root in Ubuntu Christian Edition: there are special Prophet users who deliver them.

In Ubuntu Christian Edition you cannot login as root: nobody can play God's role.

If a webcam is available, Ubuntu Christian Edition uses his embedded sign-of-the-cross recognition instead of asking passwords.

The standard Loading cursor of Ubuntu Christian Edition is a praying monk

Ubuntu Christian Edition's installer program is very easy and detects all kind of hardware devices. This is to avoid users to goddamn anyone.

Ubuntu Christian Edition has an automatic alarm clock every Sunday at 6 AM.

Ubuntu Christian Edition's default background is similar to WindowsXP landscape, but on the hill there are three crosses.

Ubuntu Christian Edition does not have daemons.